Practice this ritual to learn how to hold space and truly witness another’s truth. You will also be empowered to voice your own emotional needs, blocks, or confusions. Allowing your emotions to have a voice will allow them to be freed and help find clarity.
How often do we speak and yet our words often bare little resemblance to our true thoughts and feelings. So often we have become transfixed by the niceties of polite conversation that we forget what or even how to have an honest and sometimes difficult conversation with another. It takes real effort and vulnerability to both speak our truth and receive another’s, but this is where meaningful connection and mutual respect begins. In this ritual you’ll be asked to both share your own and truly witness another woman’s truth. To allow the space, time and safety to allow your own and her truth to surface. In our witnessing, we try to avoid the impulse to fill in the quiet spaces or gap with our own experiences or thoughts which allows space for the other’s innate wisdom to surface. Sometimes all we need is to say something out loud and almost magically the answer we’ve been seeking finds us!
To begin this ritual, seek out another woman to which you have a soulful connection. (Later this ritual can be performed in a woman’s circle with someone for which you have less history). Ask her if she’d be willing to have a soulful conversation with you about something you are struggling with. You’d be surprised how much people are willing to help if we’d only ask.
When having these conversations its important to speak from our soul and not our ego. You may want to utilize a mantra before or even during the conversation such as, “when I speak it is my soul doing the talking.” to keep you aligned with the highest outcome.
Offer to start the conversation and let her know that you hope she will also be comfortable also confiding in you. Or if you feel more comfortable, you can ask her to simply witness you. Let her know that you aren’t seeking a solution, or a bitch session, but simply need to talk things through with someone.
When you are holding space
When we hold space for another we try not to project our own feelings, history or analysis on another. We simply receive and reflect back what the other is saying. Questions can be especially helpful in drawing out the root of the issue. Ask your friend to drop below the surface of what’s going on. What is the real reason this person is caught on this surface drama? At each layer we offer a place to drop further down until we can pinpoint the core emotion, story or trauma that needs healing. Often this process can be so healing not only due to the clarity it can provide but because we finally feel seen and understood. Alana Fairchild notes in her book Crystal Masters 333, “When I am in the presence of someone who really hears me, I feel understood, connected, loved, present and alive. That is not a small offering by any means!”
When you are offering your truth
As you begin to open up to another, try to be unapologetic in your truth. Be as honest with yourself and the other about what you feel is the root of your issue. Can you see from the others perspective? Or perhaps the conflict is more within yourself. What stories and fears are operating? Try and avoid any coping mechanisms, such as sarcasm or apologizing, as your discomfort about the situation or vulnerability come up. Try and just sit in the pause in-between and notice what filters to the top. Also be mindful of what you FEEL in your body. Where do you feel discomfort, pain or dis-ease? Often our unprocessed emotions and energy gets trapped in the body. Over time this “stuck” energy can lead to physical ailments. Learning to listen to our body can help us understand the issue at a deeper level and also provide a guide map into the type of energetic healing and chakra clearing that might be necessary in order for us to move forward.
After the exchange has been complete, make sure to acknowledge and honor each other for showing up and being willing to witness and be witnessed. It can be scary to stand in our own truth but ultimately it offers a clarity and acceptance that will lead us to our highest path.